The Onion Just Destroyed The FBI In The Greatest Way Of All Time

The Onion published a perfect satire of the FBI’s warning to the public earlier this week, which featured the headline: “FBI warns Republican memo could undermine faith in massive, unaccountable government secret agencies,” according to BizPacReview.

The article was in reference to a public warning issued by the FBI that said there were “material omissions of fact that fundamentally impact the memo’s accuracy.”

Here’s CNN’s coverage of the FBI statement:

Here’s The Onion’s article:

Here’s more:

The Onion jokingly “quoted” FBI Director Christopher Wray as saying:

“Making this memo public will almost certainly impede our ability to conduct clandestine activities operating outside any legal or judicial system on an international scale.”

According to the article, Wray noted “that it was essential that mutual trust exist between the American people and the vast, mysterious cabal given free rein to use any tactics necessary to conduct surveillance on U.S. citizens or subvert religious and political groups.”

“If we take away the people’s faith in this shadowy monolith exempt from any consequences, all that’s left is an extensive network of rogue, unelected intelligence officers carrying out extrajudicial missions for a variety of subjective, and occasionally personal, reasons,” The Onion quoted Wray as saying.

The article concluded:

“At press time, Wray confirmed the massive, unaccountable government secret agencies were unaware of any wrongdoing for violating constitutional rights.”

The reactions on Twitter were priceless:

Note: The author of this article has included commentary that expresses an opinion and analysis of the facts.

DISCLAIMER: Views expressed in articles do not necessarily reflect the views held by Sarah Palin.


Leave a Reply

Be the First to Comment!

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of